Producer Shawn had it all, but you wouldn't know that if you saw him today. But let's not get ahead of ourselves...
Producer Shawn didn't always go by "Producer Shawn". In fact, he didn't even always go by "Shawn". Producer Shawn was born "Producer Lloyd" on May 3 in Philadelphia, PA. (And don't let Quigley tell you that the hospital was actually in a suburb of Philadelphia. After all, Joe spent the better part of his formative years in New Jersey. So what would he know?)
Producer Lloyd spent his childhood trying to fit in any way he could. His passion for music started at a young age when he decided that he was going to be a famous singer someday. But his pitiful singing voice kept him from getting parts in the school theater programs and his odd name prevented him from making any friends. So he turned to the one place where you don't need friends and a good singing voice serves no purpose: the gridiron.
He began his journey playing football for the local recreational center, and from the moment he laced up those shiny cleets, football would become an important part of his life. However, at the very moment he was first tackled in practice, he decided he had actually had enough of this "football thing" and that the sport was probably just a fad anyway. After all, the XFL and Slam Ball were on the rise. As a result, he would go on to ignore the NFL completely for 15 years.
Over those years, he turned his life back toward focusing on all things music. He started listening to music habitually. All day, every day. It was mostly Pearl Jam. He began playing the drums and, after realizing how frustrating it is to try and keep four different beats with four different limbs simultaneously, he seeked inspiration from some of the greats, like John Bonham and Keith Moon. That was about the time Producer Lloyd started drinking. His drumming didn't really improve all that much, and neither did his tolerance for alcohol, but his desire to be in the music biz would not be smothered. One night, as a senior in high school, he had a drunken epiphany while watching the Fleetwood Mac's Rumours episode of Classic Albums. He decided he would be a music producer. Maybe one day he would even get to meet Eddie Vedder!
He ended up majoring in Audio Engineering at Penn State University. He also managed to find a way to fit in by joining a fraternity of audiophiles called Rho Epsilon Delta. He suffered psychotic trauma during the pledging process when he was subjected to extensive subliminal sound experiments that included repetitive listening to conspiracy theories regarding the innocence of Jerry Sandusky. To this day, he is still confused by the facts of the case.
It was also at this time that Producer Lloyd was given his new name, Producer Shawn, since there was already a "Lloyd" in the fraternity, and despite the facts that there were other members with identical names and that "Lloyd" was in fact his last name, "Producer" being his first. He didn't put up much of a fuss, however, as he finally believed he was fitting in somewhere. Besides, changing your name doesn't sound so bad compared to being falsely convicted of serial child molestation. He figured that if Jerry could manage that, then he could manage changing his name. And, thus, Producer Shawn was born! And he finally had friends! That is until he started drinking away all of his student loan refund money and developed a reputation for unconsciously urinating on electronics. It turns out he only had his friends as long as he paid his fraternity dues. Before long, he was kicked out of PED. Devastated, he suffered a emotional breakdown and drank himself out of college, never to return.
After moving back into his mom's house in Philadelphia, he joined AA and began his road to recovery. It was 6 months into his sobriety when he started to regain aspirations for a career in audio engineering. As fate would have it, he bumped into his old schoolmate, Joe Quigley, outside of a Qdoba Mexican Grill. Joe had not quit football all those years ago like Producer Shawn had. After catching up over a burrito, Joe had revealed that he had developed a podcast about football and that they were in serious need of a producer, but had no budget for one. It was then that Producer Shawn seized the opportunity to fulfill his dreams...sort of. After a very brief negotiation on compensation, Joe reached into his back pocket and handed Producer Shawn a Qdoba coupon for free chips and guacamole. "There's just one more thing I'll need you to do before you can start," said Joe as he rested his arm on Producer Shawn's shoulder. And from his other back pocket, Joe revealed an old beaten up Yamaka.
And that brings us to now. Producer Shawn continues to work with the gang at Football and Stuff producing sounds, but, more importantly, producing dreams. It should be noted, however, that his sobriety ended once he secured a position at Football And Stuff, Inc. and that he doesn't really do his job all that well. I guess Producer Shawn never did really have it all, but his story isn't over yet...
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