Bets

We make a lot of bets... and we pay the price.

Bets

We make a lot of bets... and we pay the price.

When will the Cleveland Browns get off the schneid?

Duration: When or if the Cleveland Browns win a regular season game in 2016.

Terms: If the Browns beat the New York Jets on October 30th, Shawn wins. If the Browns beat the Baltimore Ravens on November 10th, Mason wins. If the Browns go 0-16 and do not win any games in 2016, Joe wins. If the Browns win any other game, everyone loses.

Punishment: The losers must write out their name in big bold letters down the sides of their pant-legs (just like those Cleveland Browns) for 1 day. They must take pictures periodically to verify their punishment. If the losers are men of honor, they will go about normal days and not stay inside all day to avoid humiliation. If the losers are not men of honor, they should be harassed to no end.

Results: Browns lost to the New York Jets on 10/30/2016. Browns lost to the Baltimore Ravens by a score of 11/10/2016. Browns got off the schneid by defeating the San Diego Chargers on 12/24/2016. Everyone loses the bet. See full punishment here, or a few highlights below!


Who will start more games in 2016? Carson Wentz or Dak Prescott?

Duration: January 1, 2017 (or whenever it’s statistically certain.)

Terms: If Carson Wentz starts more games, Mason loses. If Dak Prescott starts more games, Joe loses. If they start the same number of games, Shawn loses.

Punishment: If Mason loses, he must sing a song of praise to Carson Wentz, written by Joe, in a public place (we’ll make sure it’s a legitimate public space - Fairbanks, Alaska doesn’t have a lot of them). If Joe loses, he must sing a song of praise to Dak Prescott, written by Mason, in Rittenhouse Square (a public park in Philadelphia - very hostile to Dallas Cowboys). If Shawn loses, he must sing a song of praise to Jon Gruden, co-written by Mason and Joe, in Rittenhouse Square (probably friendly towards the ex-coach and goofy color commentator, even though he took the heart out of Eagles’ fans in their last game at Veterans Stadium in the 2003 NFC Championship Game, because he’s hilarious and Eagles’ fans are masochistic). Whoever loses will have their song broadcasted on the podcast.

Results: Carson Wentz and Dak Prescott both started all 16 games, as expected. Shawn loses the bet and will be singing his ode to Jon Gruden shortly. Check back soon!


Will the Patriots go undefeated in the 2016 regular season?

Duration: January 1, 2017

Terms: Mason loses every time the Patriots lose. Joe loses way worse if the Patriots go 16-0.

Punishment: For all games the New England Patriots lose in the 2016 regular season, Mason must watch and thoroughly review one episode of FOX's live-action/animated series Son of Zorn. If the Patriots do not lose any games, Joe must eat a bowl of Lucky Charms in public wearing a Patriots jersey and face paint.

Results: Mason lost the bet. Pats lost to Bills and Seahawks. He must watch and review at least two episodes of Son of Zorn. He has yet to post his review for episode 2. Please harass him every day until he does.


Quarterbacks younger than us most likely to win a Super Bowl. 

Duration: Indefinite

Terms: The bet ends as soon as a QB born after October 5th 1989 wins the Super Bowl. Joe drafted Jared Goff, Paxton Lynch, and Jimmy Garoppolo. Mason drafted Derek Carr, Jameis Winston, and Carson Wentz. If none of the drafted QBs are the first to win, it's a push. 

Punishment: Whoever loses has to try out for a professional football team in earnest, until they are told to leave.